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I'm a worrier.

I worry. Used to be, i just worried about looking stupid. Now I have a baby girl, and I worry about not providing for her. I worry that what I'm doing (being a freelance artist) is never going to turn into the kind of income that I need to make her life better than mine was. Which is silly. My childhood was Dickensianly poor. As long as she has a stove and indoor plumbing she's doing better than I did.

It's not that I don't think my art is good. I like my art. "Me Do Art Good" used to be on all my business cards. I'm just concerned about the future. My income has dropped dramatically this past year, with me being sick. I've watched my savings get smaller and smaller.

As it stands right now, i can only afford my rent for 2 more months. I NEED to figure out what to do next. The art directors that love my stuff, can't afford to pay me more that what they do now. And I don't think I have the chops for the 'major leagues'. To be more accurate; I am better than the worst guys getting big time work - but I don't know how to get that work for myself.

That's what 'Machination' is about. Trying to find new streams of income. I just hope it's in time



Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
cerrberus
Mar. 9th, 2011 08:17 pm (UTC)
Possy thots!
prettyshrub
Mar. 9th, 2011 09:09 pm (UTC)
Is it a matter of getting touch with the right people? Who are the right people?
oblivietto
Jul. 2nd, 2011 03:16 am (UTC)
Hello there. I wanted to tell you that I found your LJ and enjoy your creativity and what you have to say, and would it be okay for me to friend you? It was just a little dab of serendipity; I was browsing through CafePress and found you there, and then noticed an LJ link. As luck would have it, I'm a long time LJer (although my current journal is less than a year old, I've actually been around these parts since 2004) and I popped right over to see what you write about. Your little darling girl and your wife are lovely! You have an artistic and creative gift. May I friend? : )
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )